The Decision

Since my last rehab appointment at Marionjoy in December I have been trying to make a decision. Should I continue (at a great cost) or keep saving as much as I can for the "economic downturn" so we have some backup in case we get slow at the shop. With both of us working there, it would be a hardship if that happens. I have insurance but have to meet the deductable again, which means that dreaded "out-of-pocket" expense. An easy decision would be to just quit. It is very frustrating to go to these sessions. It magnifies all the things that I have problems with by doing specific exercises to help those areas of brain function. After a brain injury, in your every day routine, you normally do the same things, don't go beyond what you know you can do. Sometimes stretching the brain a little to complete a project or learn something new (which is very hard now). That is a way of protecting yourself. You don't let yourself feel inadequate. It's too big of a downer. I don't like to feel bad. But taking a test to see what your brain isn't doing anymore shows you what is missing.
After an injury, the brain is capable in some instances of retraining itself for about a year. If you are not improving after a year, you probably won't. It has been over six months since the accident. I have six more months to see what I can do. Oh yeah. Age is against me too. Brains over forty are much harder to heal.
Helping people through natural medicine has been a dream of mine for almost six years. I know right now I'm not capable of studying & retaining information. I also know that I may never be able to. But, if I don't try, I will never know. So that is my decision. I'll go back to Marionjoy.