Feeling a little tired and a little blue today. Yesterday was the worse as far as far as the tiredness. Am I anxious for spring? Yes. Am I blue because we aren't going to the farm this weekend? Of course. I am grateful to have the work we need to run our business? Oh yea. I just don't like when it gets in the way of the farm trips. Do I feel a little selfish when I say that? Yes. Should I? Probably not. I am not alone though. Steve is feeling the same way.
So yesterday I was extremely tired. It doesn't happen too often. But when I'm tired, I can't think straight or concentrate. Brain fatigue they call it. It's a lot worse since the accident. I think part of the fatigue was from the therapy session on Tuesday. We really did a lot of testing. My brain actually shut down. If you've never experienced that, it's kind of frightening. It just quits working. Period. And it doesn't take that much testing to get to that point. We are doing the tests these next couple weeks because I'm almost finished with therapy. There isn't anything else for them to do. I have reached a plateau. It's not because they or I didn't try our hardest. It's just all I am capable of. They taught me how to study with no distraction (put earplugs in & headphones on & go to a room with no distractions), but they can't teach me how to remember what I've studied. See, my long-term memories are still there, my short-term memory is the problem. Coming up with the right words in conversation is still hard too & other things too numerous (or boring) to mention. So I think the bright side (which there is usually at least one) is that I won't have to travel to the appointments anymore. Okay, there's two. I won't have to pay for the appointments anymore :-). That said, I will be trying to stay positive about all of that & not be blue for too long. That is a good thing about the brain injury...I don't remember things for too long so they can't bother me that much. No dwelling on, well, anything.
So by tomorrow, my mood will have brightened & all will be good here in Illinoisland. And I'll try to get a good night's sleep!