Me on our closing day at the farmI'm going through withdrawals. Missing the fire in the wood stove, looking out over the fields, the quiet, Steve's melting into relaxation the longer we are there, the smell of fresh-cut two by fours from the table saw (that's a little weird, I know), catching up with the neighbors, the simplicity, being four hours away from work (see above comment on Steve's relaxing), the rolling hills with cows grazing on the drive up & back, the sunsets, and most of all the dream. It is always closer when we are up there.
Steve had another night of restless sleep. Something he has never had at the farm. He is stressed. Work is very busy right now. A lot of jobs waiting to be done. Not all at once of course, but enough to cause busy days, one after another. I really hate seeing him stressed. When he is stressed, so am I. Oh yea, we could have it worse. We could be really slow at work & laying people off. That's a big stress too. Especially in this economy. But stress is stress no matter what it is about. I believe it shortens a lot of people's lives. The farm is our "stress relief" area. Everyone always wonders why going up to the farm not a stress. Because it is our dream. The dream of living a simpler life. I can see it clear as day. We are not fooling ourselves about it though. It is still a lot of work, just not the same.
So our week has been a busy one. Steve is at work as I write this on Sunday. I spent part of the day with him there yesterday sanding a job while he sprayed it. Today he is building a frame for a huge mirror (8' x 7') for a client. He is going away skiing to Montana this coming Saturday for a week. Things need to get done before he leaves. And then making sure the drawing are drawn for jobs the guys have to do while he is away. Steve has skied since he was a teen. It is his passion and he is good at it. He lived as a ski bum right after college for a year out in Durango, Colorado with a couple of friends. We saw the cabin a couple years ago on a ski club trip. They cooked on a wood stove, hauled their water, took on odd jobs to make enough to live on and skied as much as possible.
I usually go with him on trips, but not this one. The place they are staying is right at the ski resort. I like when we stay in town. Then we rent a car (with my friend Pat, who doesn't ski either) and we see the sights. I'm thinking of going to the farm while he is gone. Maybe not the whole week but at least part of it. This time Mia the cat will make the trip too. We leave her at home on the weekends because she is an escape artist. Steve is afraid to bring her up there. But with just me there, I'll keep an eye on her & make sure she doesn't slip out the door, we'll be fine. She'll love sitting by the wood stove I'm sure.

This all depends on the weather though. I have only driven once to the farm since the accident & that was following Steve in a car we have stored up there now. We took all the back roads so avoided the Rockford & Madison traffic. Yes, I am a chicken now. I don't like it, but I am. I hope to get past that someday. It just hasn't happened yet. Maybe time will take care of that. I am way better than I was before though. I had to go through counseling for post traumatic stress disorder to be comfortable with everyday driving.
This weekend daughter Kristin is skiing in Michigan with a bunch of girlfriends. Her first ski trip & I hope it is going well & that she likes skiing. Son Shane & girlfriend Kristie are officially living together as of today. So happy for them! And I am going to quit writing right now so I can study & clean the house a little. Oh & try to plan the garden a little more...
Have a great weekend!