My New Best Friend

Well, I may be exaggerating about that :-)

But it is such a great thing to have. My thoughts are very fleeting these days. One second it's there, the next it's gone. So I just pull out the digital voice recorder & wa-la !

The thought is saved until I can write it down. My therapist suggested I get one a few months ago, but I kept forgetting about it :-( .

It is only 1 1/2" x 4" so I can stick it in my pocket. I used it in the garden this weekend to record what kind of strawberry plants were in which rows so I could write it down on my garden plan later. Anyone with a lot on their minds (isn't that all of us) would benefit from one of these. It was about $40 in a Radio Shack store in Wisconsin but maybe you could find one on sale. I bought it the week I stayed at the farm so I could remember all the details of the county & township meetings.

Organized I'm not, but at least now I have two brains as Eli said the other day, so that should help.

Tired Musings on a Bright Sunny Day

Feeling a little tired and a little blue today. Yesterday was the worse as far as far as the tiredness. Am I anxious for spring? Yes. Am I blue because we aren't going to the farm this weekend? Of course. I am grateful to have the work we need to run our business? Oh yea. I just don't like when it gets in the way of the farm trips. Do I feel a little selfish when I say that? Yes. Should I? Probably not. I am not alone though. Steve is feeling the same way.
So yesterday I was extremely tired. It doesn't happen too often. But when I'm tired, I can't think straight or concentrate. Brain fatigue they call it. It's a lot worse since the accident. I think part of the fatigue was from the therapy session on Tuesday. We really did a lot of testing. My brain actually shut down. If you've never experienced that, it's kind of frightening. It just quits working. Period. And it doesn't take that much testing to get to that point. We are doing the tests these next couple weeks because I'm almost finished with therapy. There isn't anything else for them to do. I have reached a plateau. It's not because they or I didn't try our hardest. It's just all I am capable of. They taught me how to study with no distraction (put earplugs in & headphones on & go to a room with no distractions), but they can't teach me how to remember what I've studied. See, my long-term memories are still there, my short-term memory is the problem. Coming up with the right words in conversation is still hard too & other things too numerous (or boring) to mention. So I think the bright side (which there is usually at least one) is that I won't have to travel to the appointments anymore. Okay, there's two. I won't have to pay for the appointments anymore :-). That said, I will be trying to stay positive about all of that & not be blue for too long. That is a good thing about the brain injury...I don't remember things for too long so they can't bother me that much. No dwelling on, well, anything.
So by tomorrow, my mood will have brightened & all will be good here in Illinoisland. And I'll try to get a good night's sleep!

The Decision

Since my last rehab appointment at Marionjoy in December I have been trying to make a decision. Should I continue (at a great cost) or keep saving as much as I can for the "economic downturn" so we have some backup in case we get slow at the shop. With both of us working there, it would be a hardship if that happens. I have insurance but have to meet the deductable again, which means that dreaded "out-of-pocket" expense. An easy decision would be to just quit. It is very frustrating to go to these sessions. It magnifies all the things that I have problems with by doing specific exercises to help those areas of brain function. After a brain injury, in your every day routine, you normally do the same things, don't go beyond what you know you can do. Sometimes stretching the brain a little to complete a project or learn something new (which is very hard now). That is a way of protecting yourself. You don't let yourself feel inadequate. It's too big of a downer. I don't like to feel bad. But taking a test to see what your brain isn't doing anymore shows you what is missing.
After an injury, the brain is capable in some instances of retraining itself for about a year. If you are not improving after a year, you probably won't. It has been over six months since the accident. I have six more months to see what I can do. Oh yeah. Age is against me too. Brains over forty are much harder to heal.
Helping people through natural medicine has been a dream of mine for almost six years. I know right now I'm not capable of studying & retaining information. I also know that I may never be able to. But, if I don't try, I will never know. So that is my decision. I'll go back to Marionjoy.

Natural Medicine

In today's mail was a newsletter from my mentor, my teacher Dr. Karyn Mitchell. She is the person who got me interested in eating raw foods & studying to be a naturopathic doctor. Sometimes our paths cross with people who make a profound difference in our lives. I was halfway healthy eater with asthma & allergies. I was shopping at a local health food store & saw a flier on a presentation about eating raw foods. Something clicked. I went back home & started to research raw foods. The library even had a couple books on the subject. I met Karyn a couple days later at the store with a room full of people, some who had already started eating raw & others like me who were curious to hear how it could help us. Karyn & her husband Steve talked to us for a couple hours. Then they juiced carrots. Organic carrots. We all got a cup full. I can tell you that I felt instant energy while drinking it. No kidding. My body really needed the nutrients in that carrot juice.

That was in the spring of 2003. I weaned myself off meat & dairy in a matter of a couple weeks (took a little longer for my husband) and within a month was off of asthma meds I took twice a day. No more allergy meds either. I bought a new bike. I hadn't ridden in years due to the asthma. I rode 1200 miles from June to October. I could breathe again. Why didn't my physician talk to me about changing the way I ate? The more I thought about it the less I respected allopathic doctors. This led me to study natural medicine. Growing herbs, making tinctures, helping people with their diets, that's what I like to do.

Now...go back in time to July 2, 2008. Steve & I were in a car accident. A drunk driver hit us going between 50-60 mph while we were stopped at a toll booth. Very traumatic, very life altering. We are both still being treated for neck injuries. I was treated for post tramatic stress disorder & am doing much better (except for snowy roads, or tollways with lots of traffic). I am still being treated for a brain injury (Executive Function) that keeps me from concentrating, doing more than one thing at a time (I was the Great Multi-tasker), spelling things right & words don't always come to me like they should. My thought process was screwed up. I started to call the grocery store I've shopped at for years the name of a store that has been out of business for a long time. I was calling my husband Steve the name of my ex in conversation. The doctor said those memories from long ago are the strongest. Sometimes (due to seeing Steve unconscious in the car & thinking he was gone) I think he isn't with me anymore. It just comes over me sometimes. Very strong. I think with time that will all get better. (I hope so anyway). Anyway, I have not been able to study anymore. I was supposed to be interning right now. Starting a practice in the spring. Opening a practice in Wisconsin was the plan. A way to make our move & provide for ourselves until the woodworking business got started. Don't get me wrong. I am very thankful we are still here & able to do most things we were used to doing. Things just change. I look forward to the day I can start studying again. If not, something else or someone else will cross my path & change my life again. Then I will be able to think that the accident happened for a reason.

Back to the newsletter...
Here is a recipe for a smoothie.

The Mitchell Organic Smoothie
(for two)

1 Granny Smith apple or 1 pear
3 stalks of celery
1 avocado (add last)
2 small heads of Romaine lettuce (or 1 large)
or 2-3 cups any greens including collards, kale, chard, sprouts
or spinach (avoid if you have kidney challenges)
1 tablespoon raw ginger (avoid if you have high blood pressure)
2 cups purified water
10 bite size carrots or 3 larger cut into pieces

Blend until smooth.

For additional nutrition you can add 2 T each of the following:
ground cinnamon, ground raw flax, sesame seeds, dried Barlean's or Nitro Greens, iodine rich dried dulse, kelp or nori
alfalfa powder & glutamine or carnitine powderThink Spring!